Everyone wants to feel love, affection and belonging. In our quest to attain these feelings and be more attractive, we often focus our attention entirely on physical appearance. However, physical appearance is not all that counts when it comes to attracting others, appealing to their affection and even choosing potential dating or marriage partners. A large part of attraction is subjective. It “lies in the eye of the beholder.”

Whether you are a shorter man or a heavier woman, you don’t have to obsess too much with physical features. That subjective eye of the beholder that sees beauty is easily influenced—by your personality!

Who you are on the inside matters a lot. It can change how others see you and relate to you. Even if you consider yourself “pretty” or “handsome,” pay attention to your personality. Here’s why a good personality and positive attitude is vital—probably even more so than good looks.

1. Personality influences how others rate your physical attractiveness.

People consider you more attractive when you display positive character traits like confidence, empathy and kindness. They rate you less attractive when you display negative traits like selfishness and anger. Studies even show women are particularly sensitive to “negative” personality information and will quickly find you unattractive if you have a negative personality. Think of James McAvoy. He is not exactly the most conventionally handsome person on the planet, but when you watch the movie Penelope one time, all of a sudden you’re convinced he is the most kind-hearted compassionate, attractive person you’d love to meet and shake hands.

2. Personality determines whether others find you trustworthy and agreeable.

How you act towards other people often determines how they act towards you. Your personality influences their desire to deal with you both in business and personal relationships. If you have a positive attitude and are fair and dependable, others will find you agreeable and inevitably trust and want to associate with you. If you are rude and inconsiderate, others will find you disagreeable and keep away from you. Be fair-minded, understanding and open to new ideas and others will be drawn to you. They will treat you kindly and this can make a big difference in your life.

3. Personality determines if you can fit in and be accepted in groups.

We live and thrive in different social constructs and groups, including government. When you have a good personality, you are better able to fit in and be accepted in any group, be it a church group, sports group or support group. That’s because your attitude towards the group and its rules is one of respect. Other people see your respect and commitment to the group and find it attractive. They gladly accept you within their ranks. If you are rude and refuse to follow the rules (written or unwritten), you risk punishment or banishment from the group. When banished, you are resented, shunned and often lose a big sense of belonging and attractiveness. A good personality, however, shields you from all that.

4. Personality impacts your chances of achieving success and happiness.

A good personality improves your chances of succeeding and being happy in life. That’s because you are not only organized, determined and focused, but also have the right attitude and mindset to deal with any challenges life throws at you. Consider Steve Jobs, for example. He had strong personal character and positive attitude despite the many challenges he initially faced when starting up and designing the first Apple computer from his parents’ basement. He is quoted saying, “Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love.” He found what he loved, did what he had to and won. You can too!

5. Personality affects your life satisfaction

Various changes in life like marriage and a good job can predict your life satisfaction—so can changes in personality. According to a study conducted by researchers from The University of Manchester, and London School of Economics and Political Science, every standard unit increase in personality change is equivalent to an increase in annual household income of between US $92,000 and $314,000. In other words, you need an increase of at least $91,000 to $309,000 in annual income to achieve the same increase in life satisfaction produced by a single change in personality trait. Yep, simply changing your general demeanor can not only help you enjoy life more, but also make you more beautiful inside and out!